I Hate Growing Up

27/12/01

My birthday is seven days away.

I’ll be thirteen only for seven more days.

After my birthday, I’ll be fourteen years old and

Never again will I be thirteen!

Every second, every minute increases

The time of my existence on earth

It increases my age.

Every second, every minute decreases

The time left on earth

It decreases my youth.

The devil called time is taking my

Childhood away.

Somebody stop it! Please!

I don’t want to grow up!

I don’t want to be old!

I don’t want to become frail and helpless

Like a dry leaf from a broken branch!

I don’t want to be loaded with responsibilities

Any more than already is.

I hate growing up.

I want to live my life again;

Change everything that I did.

Enjoy my innocent days!

Sorry Childhood,

I didn’t realize your value till now!

The truth dawns into my realization…

I regret wanting to grow up,

Just to watch movies.

I’m sorry I was mean to you!

I wonder why birthdays are celebrated

I think they should be mourned,

Every moment should be mourned,

Every second should be mourned.

For every sunset brings you

Closer and closer to death and

Further and further from youth!

Everyday that you live

Will never come back again.

I’ll never be seven days less than fourteen again!

After tonight, there’ll be one less day

To live!

Why?? Why?? Why do we have anything like time?

Why does every thing have to live and die?

Why?

Why does time have to pass by?

Why do things have to change so fast?

Does everyone know?

Can someone do something about it?

Please?!!?

(my my i have a lot to say to myself of the past...why so pessimistic? why talk as if from 13 i go straight to 80? theres so much to learn and age is just a natural process...so is death. my own death doesn't scare me anymore. others' seems too unreal and i don't understand it. there is only a conceptual understanding which relates death to sleep and perhaps life is a dream. and if i had a choice, i wouldn't change anything in my life... i am what i am today because of it all and its been an enriching experience. i like myself the way ive turned out and i know i keep growing and learning. but i agree...wanting to watch 15 + movies was a really bad reason to want to grow up...many of my other writtens talk about my present attitude to adulthood

but im sure many ppl feel this way at least a couple of times in life...but life is best lived when one takes the framework and limitations and works best accepting the inevitable and valuing and really living every second instead of mourning it)